Picnic Finds

Having a Picnic.....

Is so much fun! I love eating on a blanket in the grass on warm days :)

vintage purple checkere... CharleensClose... $14.99	Vintage NC Colorware me... AtlanticVintag... $24.99	organic swiss cheese TE... SmilingTreeToy... $12.00	Picnic Plates - Set of ... OldGreenCanoe $14.00
crochet picnic napkins KraeO $38.00	Picnic table miniature ... FaceoftheEarth $45.00	Fruit Photograph-Aprico... kimberlyblok $25.00	Mid-Century Picnic Tumb... thewhitepepper $19.50
Rustic kitchen decor, p... Raceytay $25.00	WaterMelon Slice Neckla... sdegasperis $45.00	Vintage 60's Taffel... VintageEuroDes... $85.00	Marimekko napkins SET o... SewnNatural $48.00
Picnic quilt Throw, Rag... southerncharmq... $149.00	Eco Friendly Reusable S... HouseJewels $6.50	retro plastic picnic ut... VintageLoveMar... $10.00	Picnic Dress Sizes 0, 2... ItsOkayMyDear $230.00

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That One Time, When I shaved My Head

I've been known to be extreme from time to time.  I'm a female...and an artist...really, what more can you expect?  Ever since I was about 10 years old, I've pretty much always had shortish hair (I'm talking chin length or less).  In 2007, I stopped cutting my hair and let it grow and grow for over 3 long years.  My hair was over two feet long....That's pretty long for a person who's 5'3".  I loved it--it matched my flowing hippie skirts oh so well.

By the fall of 2009, I was more than in love with my hair--I was obsessed.  It began to play a role in my nervous habits--I would constantly touch it, twirl it, brush it (with my fingers).  I couldn't keep my hands off it, and it wasn't due to vanity.  Although it was a comfort to me in all of my nervous glory, the obsessive nature of it all was starting to get to me.  In September, I threatened to shave my head (for the second time in my life).  Whether the obsession with my hair was a result of vanity or anxiety, it became too much for me.  I was freaked out by the dependency on my hair for comfort and security.  Thank you, society, for the notion that long hair on a woman's head is the definition of feminine.  I felt safe amidst the long fibrous strands--camouflaged from anything that I deemed to be unsafe or unsavory.  I felt comfort from the tactile experience of it when I would neurotically touch it.  I really wonder sometimes, what I must look like when I'm constantly toying with my hair.

In November, I actually shaved my head.  I decided it in secrecy--my husband was away for the weekend.  I texted only my cousin, as I was assembling my supplies needed to get the job done.  I decided to make the process more worth while; I committed myself to donating as much of my hair as I could to Pantene Pro-V.  Like Locks of love, they make wigs for patients with cancer.  However, I found out that Locks of Love provides wigs to people but charge based on income (some people do get them for free, but not all).  Well, I am not going to donate my hair, so someone can take it and sell it.  That's not my idea of a Charity.  Pantene Pro-V donates the wigs, FOR FREE, to people who have cancer.  I used scissors, and cut up as high as I could.  Then I took to the clippers and buzz buzz buzzed.  My only regret was that winter was upon us, and my head was cold...but that's what hats are for.

me and my freshly shaved head.....then I put on a hat, and went off to the bar to show Hans.

Oh my, my...if only the picture I took of my husband when he walked through the door wasn't so blurry....we tried to recreate the face immediately after, but it was impossible.  The facial expression went immediately from shock to smiling--it could have been so much worse.

blurry reaction

immediately after the reaction.

attempted recreation.

 It was an interesting experience for me, with my anxiety, to have nothing to hide behind, nothing to provide tactile comfort for my nervous hands that I never seem to know what to do with unless I'm working.  I remember feeling the burning looks from people--I felt like I must have looked to them like a young boy, a lesbian or a cancer patient.  At first, these things made me feel uncomfortable, but then I realized that I didn't care if people thought about my sexual orientation when looking at my head...and  really, the only reason I cared if they thought I had cancer was because I did not want the state of my hair to cause reactions in the form of pity.... (yea, the possibility of being identified as a young boy kind of bothered me, since I was in fact a 25 year old woman).

And, really I should have known the boy-thing was going to happen.  For Halloween one year, AJ and I dressed up as each other.  I tied back my long hair, put on his jeans and hoodie (hood up), and speckled my face with eyeliner, to function as his stubble.  He put on one of my hippie skirts, somehow managed to squeeze into one of my shirts (with chest hair flying) and put a wig on.....well, let me tell you..at the bar, people really thought I was a dude....who wasn't dressed up on Halloween.  It was funny and uncomfortable all at the same time, but I seem to like uncomfortable in some sick way.

(Side note regarding compensation for the lack of hiding place:  making funny faces....I think I make funny faces a lot--always have...it's to make up for my discomfort in photos...or to communicate with Hans Vogi in our secret code speak.  But I definitely started making them a lot more during my shaved head period.)

one of the more normal strange faces I tend to make a lot.

I remember trying to compensate for these feelings I was having by presenting myself with a proud and confident stature--trying to assume that role was a difficult task, considering I am quite the opposite.  It was like role-playing.  I was pretending to be this person to fit the hair I had on my head, and as it grew, I allowed myself to morph with it, changing my style and my physical presentation to fit my hair.  I guess I made it a sort of game and an opportunity of exploration.  I felt like I was exploring femininity and pushing the boundaries of what that means to me, as well as what it means to society.  The whole experience was scary and uncomfortable, but also empowering and enlightening.  I learned a lot about myself and other people.

I would strongly recommend doing this at least once in your life (I've done it twice...the first time, I was in high school and just didn't care)....It allows you to detach yourself from the society-definined femininity all women are guilty of conforming to or worrying about in some way. It feels good to know that you have the power to make your own choices based on yourself and not what society has deemed to be normal and, in this case, feminine....and so many will say in response to this...but I DO choose for myself to keep my hair long, or to shave my legs....REALLY????  And why, I ask do you do it for yourself?  Because it's the safe zone.  Because if you do these things you feel comfortable in your own skin in the public sphere....But really, if you were all alone--completely isolated---would you feel the same way?  Would you care if you were silky smooth, with hair only on your head????

As of December of 2011, I have kept my hair in the same style (not shaved)--angled and a-symmetrical.  For some reason, I'm not ready for it to go past this point, although I do think about letting it grow again...but I know I'll just wind up chopping it all off, so really why go through all that trouble to  just completely lose it one day and do something extreme, like shave my head.

finding my words

some words i found in a notebook of mine.  i am working on compiling what may be a book of randomness.

When We Were Married (Again)

We were married in a courthouse on December 29,  2009.  Because we wanted to.  On June 12, 2010 we gathered at the local gardens with family and friends to get married...again...Sort of...I call it the fake wedding, although in many ways it felt more real than the official one that included the legal documents and all.

We planned, planned, planned for this June event--invites (made by me), venue, caterer, cake, decor, color scheme, "wedding dress", jewelry, bridesmaids, groomsmen..and anything else I may have missed.
And, on that day, I may have been more nervous than the day I actually got married.  Mostly, because there would be vows to read, which we had written ourselves.  And, the number of people present far exceeded my comfort levels as a person who gets anxiety from being in the presence of other humans.  Long mental journey short, I made it up the aisle; I think I was biting my lower lip pretty much the whole way (such a wonderful nervous tic).  We read our vows; he said his flawlessly, and made me cry. (This was my first time hearing them) Then, I proceeded to stumble and cry over the words that I had memorized, but I survived, and it was well worth it.  Anyway, that's not the point, so I'll be moving on now....to the pretty parts. (Although that was pretty too, just not internally).

Here we are, up front, being all OH SO SERIOUS.  My wedding dress was a tie-dye skirt, my husband wore jeans, a t-shirt and a tan blazer.  My jewelry was all handmade on ETSY, as well as the headpieces (which are now hanging from the ceiling of my bedroom).  We're casual people. Could you tell?  Our daughter is there, in that beautiful little tutu and her basket full of petals (that she was too nervous to throw anywhere...or maybe she just thought they were too pretty to throw).

AJ read his vows first:

Molly,  I vow to bring you soup when you are sick

And to take walks with you in good spirits.

I vow to encourage you in your endeavors, 

To help you up when you falter, 

And to toast you in your triumphs.

I vow to continuously earn your love, 

And to cherish that love.

I vow to never become complacent in our relationship

And to woo you endlessly, 

Always striving for your affection.

I vow to resist stubbornness 

And to be an understanding father and husband

I vow to love, honor, and respect you 

For the rest of our lives together.

Then came mine:

Anthony, you are my friend, my lover, and my soul mate

and I know that what we share is a rare thing to behold.

Today, I promise to nurture your creative mind and spirit, 

And to always encourage and inspire you.

I promise to continue to grow with you,

And to stand by your side in times of plenty

and in times of want.

I promise to laugh with you in times of joy

And to comfort you in times of sorrow.

I promise to love you in good times and in bad, 

When love is simple and when it is hard.

I promise to cherish you 

And to always hold you in the highest regard.

I must say, I am very proud of us for writing those.  They actually have meaning, promises that can really be kept, standards that can actually be met.

BUBBLES!

The color scheme was purple, orange, and green.  The decor...well...what decor.  I figured the color was enough, so we just added some nice potted Gerber Daisies as centerpieces. (Thank you, Mom, for planting them all...hate to say it, but I killed mine).

Sorry Hans Vogi (not her real name....my cousin...my sister). I know, you look ridiculous, but I had to, for color purposes only...Here, I'll put in a normal one, so the world can see that you can be normal. :)

My two cousins; beautiful people :)

The groomsmen in their shades of tan--we didn't force them all into the exact same blazer; we just told them color and material and left it up to them.  I think they did a pretty good job.

Ahh, yes, the cake.  This was AMAZING.  Certainly, the most unique wedding cake I have ever seen in person.  White is just so boring...Bold is just so beautiful :)

Here, we are, the happy couple, having our first official dance...literally...we don't dance, and didn't dance for those 5 months that we had already been married....Well, except for those you tube instructional videos on how to dance...Seriously.  We even practiced in front of Hans Vogi once or twice.  Go ahead and laugh, but we actually moved around the dance floor, didn't step on any toes, or trip.  So many times, at weddings, the bride and groom rock each other like babies in the center of the floor.  I wasn't going to be one of those couples, and I certainly wasn't paying for dance classes that would come in handy for a total of 2 minutes.

We're casual, hiding at our table, starved half to death from not eating all day, excited for our food (which was phenomenal...although I can't remember what it all was...Salmon, potatoes, green beans...maybe salad....)

Oh, you didn't know? This is the father-in-law, son-in-law dance.  I laugh to think that my father was, to put it VERY NICELY, not fond of AJ at the beginning....Because they have nearly identical personalities.  I can't believe my father wore a Hawaiian shirt ( that matched the color scheme no less).  My father is the last person I would expect to see in one of those...He's the plain Jane of men.

Cascade bouquet, cascading out of the photo.  Calla Lilies and Orchids are some of my favorites.  The flowers were done by Viburnum.

This was at the end of a long and blurry day.  I must say, the caterers did a wonderful job, especially the one following us around making sure we always had a drink in hand. :)  

We journeyed to our home with some family and friends for some post-wedding festivities.  One of the main events of that night was AJ's reading of his second set of vows.

Here they are:    :)

Molly, You know I love you and I want to reaffirm my vows to you.

I promise 

To never leave the toilet seat up,

Even when I've been drinking.

To fill the Brita when it's empty,

And not just half way.

To always take out the trash,

Because the garbage room gives you the creeps.

I promise to make the coffee right,

And never forget to rinse my plate.

To take Le Foo to school in the morning,

Before 11 o'clock.

To clean the cat box,

More than twice a month.

To try new things in bed,

Even if that means my butt....

I vow it will never come to that.

Till death or laser surgery do we part.

Did I mention AJ actually took the time to write TWO sets of vows? This was the second set. I'm assuming that's a splash on my shirt from the beer Cadet spilled all over the Parquet floors....oh, and one additional, little, teeny-tiny detail I forgot to mention.  If you'll just take note of AJ's ring finger; theres a ring on it.  He's been branded in a tattoo sort of way. Oh, and so was I, but you can't see it here, so I'll show you up close :)

This is what he meant by till death or laser surgery :)

OOOOOO yea.  We got to keep the uneaten wedding food!!!! MuHAHAHAAAAA (and no one got sick).

This collection I made on Etsy was inspired by our wedding colors, the gardens we were in, and the jewelry I wore.

'When We Were Married...' by mollysm130

Hammered Copper Pinch B... Studio70Seven $22.00	Crochet Ring Fiber Ring... Nothingbutstri... $7.00	Tree artwork, Abstract ... TwistOfUnique $35.00	Autumn "HYDRANGEA ... flowerbucketbo... $3.00
Gerber Daisies, Frog an... FrogFun $25.00	Original Painting Datur... athenadreams $125.00	Spring Carnival Flower ... TutusChicBouti... $30.00	All the holidays....Max... the7thrabbit $42.00
Batik Wristlet in Purpl... mcallisterbagc... $24.99	BFL Wool Top (Roving) -... threewatersfar... $17.95	Copper Spiral Earrings BeyondJeweller... $10.00	Button cufflinks, Purpl... greengrass2 $10.00
Purple Boutonniere Cors... CarmelWedding $41.00	Mandala oriental rosett... MADEbyMADA $20.00	Butterfly insect nature... HaynesHerWay $15.00	Bobby Pins Flowers - Li... MargaretKelly $15.00

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