The Case of the Self-Employed, Underpaid Crafter (Kind of ironic, isn't it?)

I’ve been making cards to sell on etsy lately, and have run into an issue with pricing.  Let me first state that this whole card making thing is new to me and I do most of the work all by hand (that is all going to change as of Monday when my CRICUT expression gets here).  The cutting takes the longest, but the planning, sketching, and assembling times also add up.  

As an artist, for commission work, I charge between $15 and $20 per hour.  This is assuming that the piece being commissioned is very specific, and that my role as an artist is limited to technique.  However, when a commissioned piece leaves more room for artistic expression, it is not possible to charge by the hour.  If I were to do that, I would have to include all of the hours of thought and decision making that went into creating the piece, and the painting’s cost would be outrageous.  I’m not saying that I don’t take time-spent-thinking into account, but it is only one aspect of many that go into pricing a piece of art.  There are other things that need to be considered: material costs, size, amount of detail in the piece, unique attributes that the piece has, and time spent creating the piece.  

After I make a card, I try to price it using the above-mentioned guidelines, but I also have to take into account the handmade card market where I am selling, which, for now, happens to be etsy.  I just recently looked through the easter card selection, and was so disappointed in what I saw.  First of all, most of the “handmade” cards are designed by the creator, and then PRINTED FROM THEIR COMPUTER.  I have news for you: you DESIGNED it, the computer MADE it.  Although I would not necessarily dub these cards as being handmade, I do like the fact that these cards are reasonably priced and more personal.  Plus, when you purchase cards from a shop that sells these, you are supporting a small business, which is very important, especially given the present state of the global economy, as well as local economies.  

The other thing that really disappointed me about the  handmade cards on etsy, that were actually handmade, were the prices I saw.  It’s really the same situation with all handmade goods on that site.  People rip themselves off.  I saw a set of beautiful, “limited edition” handmade easter cards.  The woman had included several papers, hand stamped “happy easter” and placed the small embellished paper in a metal  frame.  She is selling them for $14.99......for a pack of 6.  When I first saw the listing I thought the price was for ONE card.  I thought it would have been pretty reasonable to sell one for $14.99 (maybe a tad less), considering the amount of embellishing and the type of material used (metal). 

What is the matter with these crafters?  Do the creators of handmade goods, specifically handmade cards, not realize that a Hallmark card is priced anywhere from $1.00-$5.99, and that is just on-line.  I’m sure if you walk into a Hallmark store, you can find some boutique card for $10.00.  Did I mention that most of these cards are mass-produced by machines, which are manned by people in China somewhere?  Or, take a look at "American Greetings".  Their products cost between $1.00 and $7.99 (they actually sell a card for $19.99, but it has a digital slideshow built into it).  This company also outsources to China.  I find the fact that this company outsources more appalling than Hallmark because of the company's name.  How can you have the word American in your company's name and then have ANY of your product made outside of the United States?  

This is a quote from the American Greetings history page: "The success of American Greetings Corporation began in the heart of Jacob Sapirstein, a young Polish immigrant. Jacob believed that with ambition, ethics and hard work, anyone could achieve the American dream." I didn't notice any mention of GREED being a part of the American dream.   Jacob Sapirstein is probably rolling over in his grave.  

Based on this information alone, crafters should realize the value of the products they create.  This is my message to card-makers (change a few words and it is a message to all artists and artisans): You are a unique individual, who is creating a unique, individual product.  Each card you design is an original, one of a kind (or a set of several-of-a-kind).  This factor, alone, drives up the price of the product.  Also, you are not some factory assembly-line worker, pumping out hundreds of cards, if not thousands, in a matter of minutes.  This too drives up the cost of your HANDMADE ITEM.  Your cards are made by you, which means that you handpick the materials you use.  You know the quality of the materials, and, if you are a smart consumer, you are buying products made locally, in your own country at least.  To sum it up, HANDMADE is a novelty; it is not generic, it does not take several seconds to make, it was not created by a nameless, faceless individual or machine.  People expect to pay more for handmade goods, so why sell your cards for so cheap?  You need to talk to yourself, assuming you are your own boss, about fair wages.  Based on what I saw on etsy, most people are paying themselves WELL BELOW minimum wage.  It is really truly degrading to sell your handmade goods for pocket change.  I can NOT wait to have enough product to attend craft fairs, where crafters price their goods based on what they are actually worth.  They know their product is a quality, handmade, piece of art, and should be sold for more than your standard greeting card purchased at the local pharmacy.  

Knit Earwarmer.

While visiting my grandfather, I also knit up a cute little headband/earwarmer for Le Foo.  I got the pattern from ravelry.  For those of you who don't know, Ravelry.com is a wonderful, user-friendly database of knit and crochet patterns that are free and for purchase.  This headband pattern was free, and just SO adorable! The flower was not the same as the one shown in the pattern, but any ol' flower will do!

There is a cute lime green square button on the back.  Maybe I'll photograph it.  I loved this project because it was quick to knit up and it also provided me with the opportunity to try a bit of crocheting--I added the optional crocheted border.  It wasn't as as hard as I thought it would be and has given me the motivation to learn someday in near future. :)  Then there will be another thing to add to my laundry list of obsessions. YAY!

The Comforts of Homemade

I'd bet my Nana made this.

Going to my grandparents’ as a child, was like going to a second home—I always felt safe and secure and my stomach was always full of Nana’s cooking… Nana had a schedule that included three meals a day: breakfast upon waking—mixed fruit and cereal or a bagel…. Lunch was served promptly at noon with the cowbell ringing, to let Pop and I know if we happened to be outside…. And dinner was always at five.  Nana passed away two years ago, and up until recently, Pop has been living alone.  

Le Foo, AJ, and I went to visit Pop this weekend.  He is 93 years old. So, whenever my family goes to visit him, I make sure to have a menu planned.  As I said, Nana used to cook religiously and I loved it, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would love cooking so much, or take so much pride in my ability to do so.  On Sunday, while my aunt was away, I provided him with a solid breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  He had cereal, fruit, and some juice.  For lunch, I made soup and grilled cheese, and for dinner, I cooked up some Sloppy Jo’s.  It is my Nana’s recipe and I know my grandfather enjoys it.  And, of course, I would never subject him to our vegetarian lifestyle that we usually practice at home.  

When I cook for Pop, I enjoy it more than usual.  I enjoy it because I like to cook, but up there it is more than that.  I have the privilege of serving a WWII veteran for one thing.  I also feel like I am providing him with some amount of comfort and normalcy that he had when my grandmother was alive.  I know he misses her, and I just feel like any comfort from  that time is a nice thing to be able to give to Pop.  Or, maybe it’s just for me; to feel like my cooking provides him these comforts, gives me more purpose and pride in my task.  

I also feel closer to Nana when I cook up there; connected to her through an understanding of all she did for her family.  I am thankful to have been given the gift of the drive to care for my family in a wholesome, meaningful way.  

This is on the wall near the stove. I really noticed it this visit.
It made me think a lot of my Nana, and hoped with all my heart
that my love of cooking for my family was the same love she felt.
I hoped that she saw her own worth as a human, a woman,
a mother, and a wife, just as I make a point to see my own.

Keeping my Promise

see molly...

see molly eat breakfast...

Just to prove that I have been attempting to keep true to my word in regards to eating breakfast, I took some pictures.  Breakfast today consisted of some store-bought "organic" (what that REALLY means, I don't know) granola, blackberries and raspberries purchased by Daddy and Le Foo to cover in chocolate for mama for V-day, and some "organic"(again, not clear on the definition, since in my opinion organic=political issues, not eating habit issues) french vanilla yogurt.  Le Foo had requested yogurt and granola about a week ago, and has only eaten it twice.  I'm concerned that the yogurt will be going bad soon, so, although I banned daddy from touching the granola (it would be gone in a few days if I let him at it, since servings mean NOTHING to him), I snuck some this morning. :)  I used to make sure we had a supply of homemade granola, but have not made it lately.  I think I need to do that for daddy, since he resisted the granola temptation, saving it for Le Foo.

Knitting Meet Paper Goods

In October, I decided to take up knitting. For Christmas, everyone received a hand-knit item. It felt so fulfilling to give away goods that I had made myself. They held so much more value than any gift I could have purchased for any one of those people.

I had fallen in love with knitting, and when all of the Christmas gifts had been knit, I felt lost.  I searched for a useful application for my new found craft, other than for a few personal home goods.  I mean, really, how many towels and washcloths does one household need? Not to mention scarves.  Along my search, I discovered change pouches. I made several, experimented a bit, and decided to put them up on etsy in an attempt to sell them. I figured that if they sold I would make some more. Well, they didn't sell and it had been nearly a month.  And, I had only had one buyer inquiry.  It was regarding the strawberry.  The woman was wondering if the piece could pass for a radish and, if not, how could one make it look more like a radish.  I promptly responded to her; I even offered to knit up a radish and post it just for her to purchase, but I never got any response.  That person had a very specific item in mind; too bad I chose to knit a strawberry over a radish.  I should have known.  I just never would have guessed that someone would want a smelly, spicy veggie pouch over a sweet, juicy fruit pouch.  Live and Learn.

I can't say that I was surprised about the lack of sales- there really is nothing noteworthy or original about any of the pieces. Yes, they are all handmade, yes they are handmade in the USA, but other than that, they are just your typical change purse....although, the buttons are vintage and the one change purse looks like a strawberry....but really, a person would have to be looking for something very specific in order to make any of these knit pieces to look more appealing than all the rest for sale out there in cyberspace. This brings me to the issue of cost. The materials themselves are very cheap, but the time it takes to knit up even a small piece, seam it up and put on the finishing touches is just not worth it. Time is money and I don't think people would be willing to pay what even a small hand knit piece would actually cost at $15 an hour plus materials. This also brings up the competition. I found out very quickly by doing some searches, that people are willing to stoop to unbelievable lows when it comes to pricing....I'm talking cheaper than its made-in-china twin. I refuse to sell something that I crafted with my own two hands for $5 when it took me 2-3 hours to complete. Notice I didn't even mention material costs as a factor-- that's because the cost to make that one small change pouch is probably not even one cent when you start to add up all of the other items you've made with the same set of materials. But, when you buy a handmade product, you are paying for the time and labor that went into making that piece, with the added bonus that the materials are probably of higher quality than the piece made by the machine or low-wage earning, probably maltreated/abused worker.

 After I thought about all of this, I really decreased the amount of time I spent knitting altogether. I am thankful for that revelation, because my knitting habit was getting a bit out of hand. I would spend hours knitting, bringing the project everywhere. I would even knit in the car during the 10 minute ride from my home to my parent's. What the hell. I'll confess. I even once did it walking to the elevator, waiting for the elevator, and riding that elevator to the 18th floor, to where my mother-in-law lives. I'll admit, I may have had a problem. I wouldn't even watch our "TV". AJ would put on The Office or even a movie, and I would simply ignore it, knitting one row after another, even if I had told AJ "just one more row" 10 rows back. It got to the point where AJ would talk to me and get frustrated, because, although I was hearing him, I was too absorbed to respond in any coherent way...nor did I really want to at that moment in time-- it was like being on a drug. When I would knit, it felt as if nothing else had to exist if I didn't want it to. Time did not exist. Several minutes in knitting time would sometimes be an hour in real time and an hour would be six hours. It was insane.

I hopped off of the knitting train and right onto the cooking and party planning train. I am already a pretty avid cooker, but with knitting on the back burner, I decided to step it up a notch because cooking food for my family by itself just wasn't cutting it for my standards. I decided to start keeping a Log of the food I prepared. It is basically a journal about the inspiration or recipe, the ingredients, preparation, and finished meal or food creation, with photos accompanying many of the entries. That log-keeping business really sets the standards higher in the kitchen. Now, I prepare and cook the food, do some cleaning while the food is not wanting for my attention and photograph the food at various stages of the cooking process.

For the last 3 weeks of January, I was also busy planning for Le Foo's birthday celebration, which I already posted about.  I printed invitations that I designed using pages (Mac's version of Word).  That gave me the idea to design my own thank you cards as well.  Those can be found in an earlier post.  They turned out great, and inspired me to start card-making on a more serious level.  I went out and stocked up on some supplies that I thought I would like to add to my supply of scrapbooking items (which can thankfully double as card-making items).  Then I just dove right in; lost and happy, amidst all of the paper, embellishments, and planning.  Although, I did have this lingering sense of guilt in regards to my abandoned knitting habit.  But I confirmed to myself, and to AJ, that I would still knit, but only for personal use and for gifts.  The other day I whipped up a batch of cards that included the use of yarn and paper flowers, held together with some shiny little brads.

This was the first of two sets.  By the second set, I officially named them
FLORAL POP CARDS.

When I finished these, I worked on a second set that were collage based.

oh so country sheek

Once I completed those, I began guilting about knitting again, while simultaneously pondering an additional card design.  I suddenly had this awesome lightbulb moment.  I had knit up some flowers, intending to sew them together to create a big slouchy, airy sack...Very hippie-dippie, I know.  I grabbed one of the flowers and held it up to a card. It fit nicely.  I knit up a narrow piece that would function as a ribbon, but would be stitched to the card.  I assembled the knit pieces on the card, added some beads to the center of the flower to pretty it up a bit more, and TADAAA! I made this awesome knit Flower card.  Yes, the thing costs $10, but look around....There are very few cards with anything knit on them, and quite frankly, the ones I found just did not compare.  This card is truly one of a kind.  Not to mention the additional time it takes to knit up pieces and secure them onto the card.

Knit Flower Card by Jersey's Freshest

So, now, whenever I'm feeling guilty about not knitting, I will just make up another knit flower card and all will be well in my world again.

Grilled Cheese

On the Friday following Shaylee's food requests, I made us grilled cheeses for dinner.  I have been keeping a dinner log, photos and all.  This grilled cheese dinner was so simple that I failed to photograph any of it.  Looking back on it, I should have, because for such a simple sandwich, I have this obsession with all of the details--it's probably the most ritualistic way to make a grilled cheese.  The perfect grilled cheese must be on rye bread, preferably with the seeds.  And, of course, the butter is melted in the pan, not once, but twice, for each side of the sandwich.  It just has to be that way in order for the sandwich to be crisp and buttery all over....none of that buttering-the-bread-beforehand nonsense.  I always cook a grilled cheese over surprisingly low heat (med-low).  I always have the lid on it while cooking the first half of the sandwich.  Low heat and a lid allow time for the cheese to melt perfectly, without burning the bread--there is, in fact, a perfect golden brown that a grilled creese should be.  When it comes time to flip, the sandwich is removed from the pan, the heat is lowered even more, and another pad of butter is tossed in.  Sometimes, I lift the pan off of the burner if I see that the melting process is occurring too rapidly.  Who wants scorched butter?  Once the butter is melted to my satisfaction, I place the grilled cheese back into the pan; no lid necessary this time; the lid makes the newly crisped, buttery bread soggy.  Once the sandwich is in place, I crank up the heat a bit, since all I'm trying to do at this point is brown up the bread.   The sandwich is closely monitored and removed at just the right time.  The grilled cheese is always plated with the side that was cooked last, facing up.  Just like the lid of the pan, the plate creates condensation when in contact with the hotter side of the sandwich, creating a soggy piece of bread.  No one wants that.

Call this a tutorial on how to make the perfect grilled cheese, or call it an attempt to justify my rituals surrounding this simple comfort food.  You should really just try it my way once, and then you can decide.

Misplaced Hunger Button

I have a really bad habit of not eating throughout the day.  It's not that I have some eating disorder or something; eating just has never seemed to make it to the top of my priority list.  Some mornings I will eat breakfast, but mostly I don't feel hungry, and am generally turned off to the thought of food so soon after waking up.  As the day goes on, you would think my body would send me a memo, reminding me to eat--a stomach growl, a pang in my stomach, something, anything at all.  But it doesn't.  I am always bustling around cleaning, cooking, or making something, and it seems that I focus so much on getting whatever it is I am doing done, that I simply tune everything else out, including any hunger I may have otherwise been feeling.  I simply don't feel hungry, and if I don't feel hungry, I don't think about food.  This makes perfect sense to me.  Not to other people though; I am constantly being scolded by my family to "EAT! Why don't you EAT!? It's bad for you! Why do you do that to yourself!?"  Well, it's not like I'm consciously "doing" anything to myself.  If I'm hungry I eat; if I'm not, I don't.  Sometimes, when I feel a bit shaky, I think about stopping for a bite, but then I get all nervous about "abandoning" my project or chore to heat anything up.  I'll only be okay stopping for this food if there is something that can be eaten cold; no preparation can be involved.  It's like the minute or so it takes to reheat leftovers is going to completely throw me off course, and my goals for the day will not be met.  This stress I induce immediately shuts off any want for food.  The problem with this habit of mine is that once I STOP whatever it is and turn my attention to dinner, all of the hunger I hadn't felt all day roars its angry head.  Mostly, my stomach is just angry, but the other night was an exception and sort of an eye opener.  I was at home with Le Foo, preparing dinner, and I was suddenly overcome with dizziness.  Fortunately this came at a time when I was waiting for the food to cook itself. I actually had to sit on the kitchen floor.  Le Foo was concerned, and I told her that mommy made a bad choice and had not eaten all day.  I got up, drank a glass of juice and had a piece of cheese in an attempt to calm the storm that was brewing in my body.  That didn't work.  I went and laid in the bed, and closed my eyes in an attempt to shake off this feeling.  Le Foo was now into a full blown  lecture.  "Mommy, that's not good. You have to start eating breakfast. I'm going to make you."  I agreed with her, letting her know that I would comply.  Then she went on to say that she didn't want to go to school the following day.  I asked her why.  She said, "I want to eat lunch here."  Now I am thinking to myself, 'this poor kid thinks she needs to stay home to make sure I eat'.  I'm still not sure if this is why she started in on all of this, but she continued on, telling me why she wanted to eat lunch here, rather than at school:  "they ever have grilled cheese or peanut butter and jelly for lunch at school and I love them."  I promised her that I would make sure she had both of these items before the week's end.  I also promised her that I would definitely eat breakfast and I would try to force myself to eat something during the day--I've been doing pretty good at keeping that promise, and I am probably a healthier person for it.  Thank you Le Foo.

Valentines Cards

Valentines day is next week.  Shaylee's teacher asked that each child bring in a sweet treat and Valentines cards for each child in the class.  I thought it would be nice to make these myself, since I find the regular valentines cards that children normally give out to be tacky and so cliche.  They are always themed based on whatever cartoon characters are hot at the time.  SSDD.  I'm sure most people will just toss them in the trash, but I enjoyed making them--using my hands is therapeutic for me....plus it gives me more practice with stamping and designing cards.

Handmade Thank You Cards

I made some handmade thank you cards to send out to people who attended Shay's birthday.  They turned out quite nice--they are simple, but pretty.  I could definitely make them more complex, but these are a start....AND, I'm selling them on Etsy for $30 for one pack of 10.  The orders can be can be customized (mix n match or pick one layout).  

Party Elements

just a little gallery of party elements.  of course, I forgot to take photos of the whole room.  There were pretty things hanging from the ceiling.  

the party favors

 

pom-poms are pretty

i painted LeFoo's face
the other kids had smaller ones done by Daddy because mommy couldn't take the stress of it not being perfect.

Birthday-Bash Eve.

 Friday was a day of baking and decorating--I've learned another lesson from this experience: DON'T CLEAN YOUR KITCHEN THE DAY BEFORE YOU ARE HAVING A BAKE-A-THON.  It's just not worth it.  My counters had sprinkles and icing stalagmites all over them.  My floor must have too, but before I knew the icing was down there, I smeared it around with my shoes, creating a wonderfully sticky surface to walk around on, and track all over the house (this is just an assumption, but of course, now I will be thoroughly cleaning the floors all over again later this evening).  I baked the cupcakes first and decorated them using instructions from the McCormick website.  I used the colored sugars that I also planned to use on the cake so everything would match.  The cupcakes were very simple to decorate.  However, the marshmallow cutting business for the petals is not recommended for someone who has serious tactile issues.  Following the first marshmallow that was cut up, the scissors were too sticky to really cut through the marshmallow properly, and the marshmallows were either stuck to the scissors or to my fingers.  And, the more I tried to shake them off of myself, onto the baking sheet, the more they stuck themselves to me.  I had to take a time out and wash my hands.  I wet a paper towel, wiped my hands and scissors and started anew.  Well, to my surprise, the moisture on the scissors caused them to cut through the marshmallows like a dream, and since my fingers were still wet, they didn't really stick to me either.  So, every few marshmallows I simply wiped down myself and the scissors and was okay with life again.  They turned out to be pretty, just as I suspected they would.  Looking at them makes me want spring-time even more.

The cake was a whole other story.  I must say I was frightened pretty much right from the point that I pulled the two 9 and 1.5" cake rounds from the oven.  I combined two cake designs from Betty Crocker's website: one for the shape, and one for the general design and color scheme.  The Betty Crocker recipe I was using only called for one of those rounds.  Once I cut it up, it looked so tiny--they must really ice up their cakes, because the one in the picture, all prettied up, looked nothing like my little naked cake round.  So, I decided to take matters into my own hands and stack the rounds.  Also, the wedges cut from the wings are used for the center body of the butterfly.  Upon close inspection of the diagram I was using, I noticed that the shapes of the wedges magically morphed from triangles to pentagons.  Since I don't have magic powers like the cake-makers at Betty Crocker headquarters, I took matters into my own hands, and stuffed the empty space between the two triangles with pieces of the extra cake tops.

I had refrigerated the cake prior to applying a thin layer of icing to "lock in the crumbs".  I wound up taking off lots of crumbs with nearly every stroke of the knife.  Eventually, after getting more icing on my hands, counters, and floors than on the cake, I had coated the crumby parts with a thin layer (it took an entire container of icing--what thin layer of icing does that...I KNOW--the thin layer on my kitchen floor!).  Back into the fridge the cake went, and still terrified because it was more mess than it was butterfly.   Did I mention that icing cakes is not for people with tactile sensitivity either?  Every few minutes, when I couldn't take anymore of that slimy, gooey icing on me, I had to wipe my hands on a wet paper towel.  While the cake was resting in the fridge, I rested by searching for a solution to the "thin icing" layer on the cake, for all the cakes I will be baking in the future.  I found the answer here.  About an hour later, I removed the cake for the official icing layer.  This went much more smoothly.  The cake was thick and white in no time. I used the extra icing to mix up the colors for the design on the cake and brushed it on.  Then came the gel outline.  My hands always seem to shake when I need them to be steady--it could have also had something to do with the three cups of coffee I consumed.  Finally, I got to apply the sprinkles, candy, and the fruit-by-the-foot antenna.  The candy was my favorite part, because I could do it flawlessly.  In the end, the cake turned out pretty enough, although, in my perfectionist mind, it was not to my standards, but I got over it.

I, of course, had to leave the cake on the hideous shiny tinfoil-lined tray.  When it was time for cake at the party, I just surrounded the cake with cupcakes, minimizing the shininess of it all.

Butterfly Paper Craft

This project originated out of the need for a craft at Le Foo's birthday party.  This craft can be done by any age group that can handle paper and glue.  The materials can be adjusted to make the project more simple or more complex.  For younger children, an adult will need to do some prep work (cutting, handling a hobby knife.  You can also omit the frame altogether).

Materials for ONE Butterfly:

• Card stock for main structure

             2-4 contrasting sheets for wings, body, and frame (the frame covers the body of the butterfly, but

             I chose to use a contrasting color for the body anyway, since my frame included "windows" on  

             the body).

• Scraps of paper, magazines, card stock for collage/assemblage
• Embellishments (pom-poms, googlie eyes, buttons; pretty much anything your creative heart desires...just remember that heavier objects will weigh the piece down, so it should be mounted on foam core, cardboard, or book board).
• Glue stick (craft bond glue preferred)
• Liquid craft glue; ie:SOBO  (optional)
• Hobby knife

Instructions:

• Sketch/find a butterfly shape for the wings (and body/head if using) on card stock
• cut out templates
• Trace original butterfly wing pattern for frame of the piece
• Cut it out, making sure you cut it slightly larger than the original
• Assemble the wings, head, and/or body if using

• Create an assemblage on the wings of the butterfly

• Coat with watered down craft glue (optional)
• If the project is warped, weight under books for several hours, or until you are ready to continue working
• Cut off any materials that exceed the edges of the butterfly shape 

• Cut the inside of the frame to create "windows" for the assemblage using a hobby knife.  These cut-out sections can be as simple or complex as you would like.  Remember to make sure that your frame is thick enough, so that it can be attached to the main structure.
• Attach frame (you can use glue, but I chose to use 3-D glue dots), mount on heavier backing material if necessary.
• Weight piece under books to secure backing, if used. 

VOILA! Now you have a pretty piece of art.  You can frame it, or mount it to the wall as it is.

dinner disaster (almost)

After a day filled with laundry, cleaning, and mothering, I started to prepare dinner.  AJ was off of work for an interview, and was home by around 3.  Dinner preparations began at about 4:30 because I had to go to Mason Gross to model for an art class from 6 to 9.  Cooking was not the usual zen experience.  I baked some tofu slathered in soy sauce for the stir-fry, and crisped leeks and garlic for the garnish.  I attempted to begin “stir-frying” the broccoli, before I needed to get ready to leave, so I turned on the burner.  I made an incorrect knob selection, turning on the front left burner, rather than the front right one.  This front left burner was being used as counter space that i so often find lacking in our kitchen.  I must say, I learned my lesson regarding the use of a stove as countertop for things-other-than-pots.  I heard a clinking noise, like a heavy metal utensil, hitting what i thought was the counter.  AJ was assisting in the cooking process by heating the rice.  I thought he had used something to stir the rice and it was dropping off of something he had propped it on.  I heard it again.  And again.  It wasn’t until the plate cracked in half and the paper towels went up in flames, that I realized I had a potential catastrophe on my hands.  The flames were minor at first...For about one second.  i couldn’t find the right words to get AJ’s attention, due to the fact that Le Foo and two of her friends were in the other room, and I did not want to draw any attention to the “happening” in our kitchen.  All I could think of was “EMERGENCY.”  AJ came in, grabbed a pan, and tried to smash the fire.  No success.  All I saw was my freshly cooked garnish glowing from the approaching flames.  I grabbed what was left of the paper towels , dumped ‘my precious’ onto the remaining half of the plate, and set the paper towels, fire and all, into the sink.  I turned the water on, which immediately put about 75 percent of the fire out.  I just stepped back and watched, so relieved to see the flames being smothered.  They were low enough for me.  AJ, in a much better frame of mind, took the hose on the sink and sprayed down the remaining flames.  In the end, we wound up with a nice medley of stir-fry vegetables and tofu served over rice with, of course, my slightly singed, but salvaged garnish on top....and our apartment still in tact.